It’s time to get up, pull on the school uniform and the tie with
that dreaded knot – the special knot that would otherwise show you up.
Downstairs you eat the breakfast your oblivious parents have prepared
on automatic drive, grab the school bag, say goodbye to “Frazzle” the
dog who looks back with those large caring eyes, head slanted and tail
still. He knows; he is the only one who really knows.
You leave for the longest journey on earth. It lasts a lifetime but
takes only 15 minutes. Goodbyes are muted and you force yourself out of
the car and through the front gate for the day ahead. You have arrived
at school, the place you dread more than anything.
Being bullied and suffering from low self esteem is
an awful predicament. It’s there as a constant, like toothache it
pervades every thought. The trip home the only relief, the chance to
recover suffer in silence and hide from the outside world. And your
performance at school is well down compared to your real ability.
A recent survey in Northern Ireland shows 22 % of all children have
been physically attacked by school bullies, 39% bullied in other ways
and thanks to modern technology 10% percent had been bullied by
Internet.
Bullying takes many forms; name calling, rumours, being pushed
threatened, belongings stolen or damaged. But these are the outward
signs. Internally the physical and psychological damage can be immense
and long lasting.
Pip Jaffa, chief executive of the Northern Ireland Parents Advice
Centre explained “The impact depends on the kind of bullying and the
resilience of a child. This can include not sleeping and not wanting to
go to school, as well as physical symptoms like having a sore stomach
or headache as a way of showing they are upset.”
In the clamour of family life these subtle changes can go unnoticed
for some time before the child opens up or you spot a growing
reluctance to go school or join in. Bullying has a knock on effect, it
lowers self esteem and the defence mechanism is breached.
Bullies need help too, often compensating for their own problems or
influences. Parents can sometimes induce bullying. Their children
mismanage advise that to succeed you need to dominate other children or
push them around. Such advice can be given by parents who were
themselves bullied at school or suffering from issues at work.
There are many ways to support bullied children. Diligent
observation of a child’s behaviour is the start. Changes in routine
and demeanour, a reluctance to participate are just some of the outward
signs. A routine child’s “health check” needs to be completed subtly
by parents. If a parent is concerned that bullying is taking place in
school, they should contact the school and ensure something is done.
They need to be persistent and remember that they are the voice for the
child.
Help is also available for the home. It is important a child – like
us all have positive self esteem. This essential ingredient can help
build up a positive attitude that will last a lifetime. The foundation
work can be achieved through playing educational games in self esteem.
Played at home, as well as school, the benefits are something to
consider as 25% of children will come across some form of bullying
during their schooling.
Alistair Owens writes for keen2learn
